Cucumber Chris was born on a vine
His poor mother's health was in a decline
His father was part of a cucumber gang
He spoke not English but cucumber slang
His mother wished for him a much better life
His current lifestyle was filled with strife
She sent him away to a far safer place
Hoping he would find a life that was ace
Now Cucumber Chris was a kind-hearted lad
Though he had not the looks of his mum or his dad
His complexion was flawed,
His nose far too broad
(His greeny-grey head appeared slightly gnawed)
So anyway back to the safe place we go,
(What happens in the fruit bowl you already know)
Cucumber Chris was both awed and feared
His spectacular ugliness kind of revered
And now we must come to his lady love
A beautiful guava who called herself dove
I know you'll be hoping she looked past his flaws
That his nice personality would give her pause...
But Chris was like, really ugly.
So anyway as i was saying before,
His little cucumber heart out she tore
So Cucumber Chris, he thought to himself
what must i do to redeem myself?
He thought and he thought- he was thinking for days
Until he did find the best of ways
He took out his gun
And shot everyone.
