That Chicken. You know the one.

That chicken was suspicious. I don't care what you say, I don't care what anyone says! I was suspicious of IT and IT was suspicions of others of it's kind. The whole experience was entirely suspicious. And it was no ordinary breaded chicken- it was an organized and educated army!
Have you ever hated your French teacher so much that you would like to "tear your arm off just so you would have something to throw at her"? *Listens for response* Me too! And it's only because I'm onto her secret, having found out about her brain eating zombie ways. If she thinks she can throw me off her scent with her enigmatic English accent and her terrifying toupee (another skeleton in her closet), then she's got another thing coming!
Has anyone else ever had that problem where they don't know what to do with their teeth when they're sleeping? You know, when you're lying in bed waiting to fall asleep and then you realise your teeth are clenched really tight and you unclench them but then you don't know where you are supposed to put them- it involves much mouth strainage to keep them sort of hovering apart but you just know you can't go back to clenching them again and then you think to yourself "This is silly... go to sleep" but you are just deceiving yourself because now you can never go back, the experience has changed you- and all you can think about is teeth teeth teeth.... Then when you finally fall into a restless slumber, your dreams are haunted by giant bottles of mouthwash armed with toothpicks and dental floss lassos. I hope you've had that problem because otherwise this is rather embarrassing for me, and perhaps for you- I don't know how easily embarrassed you are. 
Could be that you're one of those people who is never embarrassed by anything, even really embarrassing things like falling in mud and having to continue with your school day as if nothing had happened, or headphones accidentally being yanked out of your ipod so that bob the builder is blaring out for everyone to hear, or even asking someone in quite a long winded way whether they have ever experienced something kind of weird and finding out that no, they have not experienced that thing. I envy you because honestly, all of those things would really embarrass me... not that I would be silly enough to let any of them happen to me- just saying.
Have a naaaice February, and many more (which basically means "I hope you don't die between now and next February"... which is true... UNLESS you are a zombie masquerading as a French teacher- Yes Ms Duncan I'm talking to YOU.)

Uh, everyone's probably died in the time between my last blog post and this... but I have an AMAZING excuse.... You understand now? Good, we can move on.
Ahh. I have P.E tomorrow. *Distraught face* As you can see, I am distraught. So... right.
How about I go away and then come back when I have something more interesting to talk about. Or, alternatively, when I have something more interesting to have a good ol'  rant about? 
Coming sooooon... A compendium of words that should be words but aren't...... 
Byeeeeeeee, lots of laaaaav

The sad tale of a man and his beard.

I am one of those people who has a mirror permanently attached to the the end of their nose- I take it out in class, during meals and even when I'm swimming- it's my thing you see.
This habit has created a lot of tension with my teachers and I because, for some reason unbeknown to me, they don't like it when you are checking your appearance instead of listening to them. My friend Flabby the Edible does have a theory when it comes to mirrors and teachers. Their problem isn't that you aren't paying attention- it's that you can look in the mirror and they can't! Take, for example, my teacher- Mr X- all he wants to do is marvel at the splendour of his multicoloured beard, but he just can't because he is a teacher. So, the next time you're having a nice long look in the mirror and a teacher comes over and ruins your fun, subtly offer them the mirror- I guarantee you will make their day and they will never bother you again.
As I have mentioned before I am boycotting sleep, and now that I am I have plenty of time to think.One of the things that has crossed my mind during the late hours of the night is this- If you try to boycott sleep, you will not last a week. Ignore everything I previously said about the dangers of sleep- do not try and avoid it, your mind will be scrambled.
I accidentally stumbled across a major conspiracy- THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR..... ARE THE SAME SONG!!! I mean what sort of a world is it that we live in where the classics that we know and love actually turn out all to be the very same song!! Absolutely shocking.
And the Panda went..... doodly do do do do do do do. What on earth is he doing here? I hope he's here to stay.......
I am off for a sandwich now.........

Sleep

This is my first blog, so naturally I am going to make it about something exciting-sleep!
Let's face it - we are all hopelessly addicted to sleep. Now, in my opinion, this is a highly dangerous addiction- much more so than your average alcoholic Andy's addiction or Dan the druggie's addiction. Maybe your thinking what's so dangerous about sleeping? or maybe your nodding in agreement right about now, or maybe neither of the above. Well, if it's the second, be ready to nod some more...
1. All the things we worry about during the day are running through our heads when we sleep and we turn them into the scary realities some people call 'dreams', in turn making us even more paranoid when we wake up.
2. Being a teenager, I apparently need 9.28 hours of sleep EVERY day. Seriously, who has time for that? And what is the .28?? minutes?? because if so that is incredibly precise...
3. Okay, be ready to have your mind blown by this next one. WHAT IF WE FORGOT HOW TO SLEEP?? Ever thought about that? What if one night, everyone would be going to bed with their teddies and their footsie pyjamas in place and they just lay there, all night. No one in the world would get ANY sleep and everyone would get very cranky and stomp about with bed head and morning breath. What kind of a world would that be?? (May I just point out that this would not happen all at once, the mayhem would descend later on in exotic places like Benidorm where there is a time difference)
So, now you see. Sleep is a dangerous danger to all of us! And the only solution that I can see is for everyone in the world to boycott sleep.... before it boycotts us..........